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Posted in Just Thinking
November 8, 2018

Reality is Kicking In

Reality is kicking in.  Hard.  I have less than a month of college left.

Holy crap.

It really hit home the day after halloween.  I’ve been sooo busy lately that I didn’t carve my pumpkins yet.  And then I was looking at my calendar for some reason and bam.  Time is dwindling down.

Am I ready?

Academically, yes.  Emotionally though?  I think I’m a slight mess.

My roommates and I don’t talk about it.  We don’t want to.  There will be an open space in the house that some random person will fill or the school will leave empty.  We’re hoping it stays empty.

But it’s weird.  I watched everyone panic as they registered for classes.  I didn’t have to do that headache.  But I wanted to.

Will I be okay?  Of course.  It’s just sobering to see that this is really happening.  I am going to be adulting soon.  Legit adulting, not student adulting.  In college, we are adults.  We have responsibilities, but there is also this overlapping net that can catch you if you fall.  That won’t be there in the same way soon.

Granted, I have my friends on campus to visit all of next spring as well as the graduation ceremony to look forward to, but it won’t be the same.  I will be working full time, paying off the debt I’ve accrued, and back in my hometown.  I feel like someone is shaking a snow globe.  Nothing feels real.

By the end of the semester, I’m sure I’ll feel different handing in the mammoth of an essay at the end.  My senior portfolio is almost done, so there’s not much left for me to do.

I am very conflicted.

 

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